Body image, sexuality & embodiment

Body image plays a big part in how we perceive ourselves sexually.  In exploring our sexuality, it is essential that we look at our current feelings towards and perceptions of our body. Body image is not the same as body but rather what the mind does to the body in translating the experience of embodiment into a mental representation. This translation from body to body image is a complex and emotionally charged process. Issues with body image is something many people struggle with due to the many influential factors.

Through our developing years we internalize the way others respond to our bodies – how we’re touched (or not), criticized or praised.

As parents how we view our own body will impact how our children will perceive their body.   If parents are comfortable with and accepting of their bodies, their children will develop a more accepting attitude to their changing bodies. 

The media is the most pervasive and significant sources of indoctrination into prevalent sociocultural attitudes towards the female, and male, body. Media messages are everywhere. Our culture tells us that our bodies are not good enough – too fat, too thin, breasts too large or too small, too pear shaped, too top heavy.  The underlying message is that of inadequacy. We are left feeling humiliated and shamed over our body, with an overriding sense of inadequacy. 

Impaired body image can also be a long term consequence of sexual and physical violation.  Body hatred and feeling of estrangement are common experiences for adults of survivors of child sexual abuse.  Disassociation is common for trauma survivors in general.  Internalised perceptions of the body being dirty, bad, evil or out of control or untrustworthy can be very difficult to overcome and requires the support and guidance of a trained to work with trauma survivors.  

 Restoring a health body image

The goal of working with people struggling with body image to help them become embodied.  To become embodied is to experience the body as the centre of existence, not as a focus but a reference point for being in the world. To be embodied means to feel alive, vital and to perceive bodily states as they change from pleasure to pain, from hunger to satisfaction, from energy to fatigue from vitality to tranquillity. 

If we are centred in our body, we can move through the world with greater ease and self-confidence.  If we can reconnect with our body and learn to trust and respect our own rhythms and messages, we can come to a place of self-acceptance, where the body and self can coexist in relative harmony.  For this to happen the body needs to be one of peace and harmony and not combat and contest.

Sex therapy can provide the necessary support and guidance to generate awareness necessary for change so we can have the opportunity to heal, grow and to experience the empowerment of self-acceptance.